Big Moments and Milestones!

Ok, I'm sorry for the delay, but I didn't want to post this until Ray got to Colorado so he could surprise some friends of ours. :) The biggest news of all, is that we are moving back to Colorado...at least temporarily.  We both have accrued quite a bit of school debt and work here in Maine just wasn't paying enough to cover it...especially not if we wanted me to stay home with Emilee - which we do. Out there he can make nearly 3 times in a week what he was making here in a week! The end goal, however, is still to be back here and near family.  As usual, it will depend on God's plans and timing. :) Ray packed up a UHaul with pretty much all of our stuff, minus what Emilee and I are using until WE go out, and left for Colorado two friday's ago.  He has already started working out there, and once he has enough saved up to find us an apartment, Emilee and I will pack up ourselves and the cats and follow him out. :) Being apart is (and will continue to be) stinky, but it should only be for a couple months and in the grand scheme of things, that's not much.  If we can focus on paying down debt while we're there, this will be a great step forward for our little family. :) Below is a pic of our stuff piled in his boss's garage in CO.

Other than that, Emilee has turned 6 months old! So weird to think of her as half a year old already!...of course it's also strange to think of her as a week, 1 month, etc.  Especially when I see babies that are that young! They really do develop very quickly in the first months of their lives! Thankgoodness! lol. I know some people really like the newborn stage, but I am glad to have that part over! Anyway, Emilee had her 6 month check-up and while she had not yet GAINED any weight from my pumping and fenugreek experiment, she had also not lost any more.  I'd only been doing it for 2 weeks, one of which she was sick and the other week we were visiting (both things tend to throw off schedules!) so I took that as pretty good evidence that it was/would working/work.  The Doctor is a new doctor for Emilee, so she had some other questions to ask, but Emilee continued her charming doctor visit streak and even "talked" to the doctor a bit! lol.  No shots this time either! :) The Doctor said to try feeding her three small meals of solids and to try adding in another feeding time, but otherwise Emilee is doing great and is developmentally right on track. :)  They set up an appointment to weigh her in a month, but considering that multiplied her solid food intake by 3...I think we won't have any problems. lol. Here are some pics of the little sweetness!

Emilee and Paxton have a unique relationship.  He is SO good with her!  He comes over purring and sniffs her while she's eating and he will try to lay on her (not to smother, just by her feet) and lets her pet him and play with his tail.  In turn, she is very gentle with him and for the most part doesn't try to pull on him or hit him. It makes me happy to see my furbaby and Emilee getting along. :) Here are some pics of Emilee with Paxton!

Lastly, it has been a GORGEOUS day today so Emilee and the pug and I went for a hike through the fields! I KNOW the dog liked it, but I think she did too, what do you think? :-p (Pic below)

Until next time (and remember, tomorrow is Easter, so "next time" will have photos of Easter Eggs and adorable Emilee-in-Easter-Dress photos)! Take care and God bless!

~Mae

Thankfullness

I have been struggling recently with FEELING close to God.  Really, it's been a struggle since college to have that balance of quiet time with him in the midst of an increasingly busy life, but at times it sort of feels put on hold, particularly since Emilee was born.  My time is not my own, and the few hours I get to myself I am usually thinking of the immediate needs...food, shower, sleep...etc.  Of course, meeting with God SHOULD be one of those priorities.  Jesus is the bread of life, HE should be our one priority, because everything else comes from HIM.  Still, being human, my sleep deprived hungry body says, "EAT NOW!" or "SLEEP NOW!" and my logical, practical mind says, "WASH THOSE DISHES!" and "DO THAT LAUNDRY!" and my exhausted spirit says, "Sssshhh, quiet, just relax."  Those voices are hard to ignore at times.  I have made a point to read the Daily Bread everyday, and I will have fleeting thoughts brushing the surface of something deep, and I am SO thankful that God is still faithful and loving and patient, that he still provides and hears and answers even in the midst of my busy inatention, but the daily bread, while good, is just too light for me.  My spirit needs meat, I'm not a spiritual babe anymore.

Occassionally, because my God is good and gracious, I am given the sweet opportunity to spend real QUALITY time with him.  I am ashamed to say I don't always take advantage of it...namely because of the other voices mentioned above...but when I do it feels SO GOOD!  Today, I felt urged to give thanks.  My situation at the moment is not terribly abnormal or uncommon.  I hear stories ALL THE TIME about people in impossibly hard situations...abusive relationships, sudden deaths, handicaped children, miscarriages, terminal illnesses, and they scare me.  They make me fearful of my own relatively normal exsistance.  I KNOW God is good, but God does allow those situations in people's lives, his reasons are his own and we may never know or understand them, but I can't help being afraid that at any moment God might "allow" one such tragedy to strike ME.  I swear, it's like an ever-present fear of mine.  The really sad thing about it, is that I know God is not vindictive like that, and I have no real reason to think this way.  God has blessed me abundantly...and perhaps that's where the root of my fear comes from...with all the suffering and trials and tragedy around, I feel like I've somehow gotten the sweet end of the deal and like all good things in this world (another twisted message passed down through the generations) it must inevitably come to an end.  The thing is, God's blessing ISN'T "of this world".  It doesn't have to have an "end".  And more importantly, my life is no BETTER than anyone elses, I simply acknowledge God, who loves me and pours out his blessings on me because of it, and I try to do my best in return to thank him with my thoughts, heart, actions, words, life.  You'd be surprised at the power of thankfullness. It really has an amazing way of blasting through those fears and insecurities.  Rather than let my mind shrink into the crippling, consuming thoughts of imminent doom, (Which may or may not ever happen, and more likely than not WON'T happen), focusing on things that I KNOW to be true (the love and character of God and all he has already done for me and through me) is a solid way to restore faith and hope. :)

Here are a few things I am thankful for.  The list is much longer, but my solitude was just disturbed by a fussing baby so I have to end this.

- My God
- The love my family has for each other and God
- The love of my husband
- Our open, honest, and sincere relationship
- My daughter
- My health
- The health of my loved ones
- My Faith
- God's ever present help and unceasing provision

Perhaps I will write more later but untill then, happy thanksgiving! :)

~Mae

Increasing Supply

Ok, this will have to be short cause I'm in a house full of people putting together a bodacious lunch for everyone. :-p  My sister-in-law likes to try new interesting recipees. :-p

Anyway, this past week I was trying to increase my milk supply for Emilee, so I was taking fenugreek (a supplement) and pumping a couple times a day.  It seems to have worked, because she was MUCH happier after her feedings and is eating longer.  Just have to wait till her doc apt. to see if she has gained back her weight.  I tried using the bathroom scale, but it's not terribly accurate so it was hard to tell...can't see ounces and stuff.  Still, due to the fact that she's grinning happier, I think we're probably good. :)

Other than that she was really clingy all week.  I used to be able to set her in her pack-n-play for about 20 mins and she would play happily there but, after a bunch of traveling and being sick, she doesn't want to be set down ANYWHERE, and if she does let you set her down, she wants you to be in sight.  Near the end of the week I could get some reprive by putting her in her bouncer, but for the most part, if she was awake, she wanted my constant attention.  With her being happier it wasn't all that bad, but still exhausting.  I'm not sure if the clingy-ness is ENTIRELY due to her schedule being upset, she may be teething as well...I'm quite certain of it actually, but no teeth have as yet emerged so...I could be wrong.

Anyway, right now we are down state visiting my husbands side of the family.  Emilee likes it for the most part..lol..as long as mom and dad are around, and her toys, she's pretty well contented. :-p Right now she's sleeping, but I expect her up soon.  OH, and in other news, she will be 6mo old in two days! It doesn't feel like it's gone that fast but it's still weird to think that number is associated with her.  Doesn't seem like she's 6mo... Untill next time!

~Mae

Family, friends, and memories.

So sorry for the Delay, two weeks ago we were traveling, as you know, and last week emilee was sick (just a cold, no need to get worried!), so this entry is a bit overdue.

Anyway, two weeks ago we traveled to Vermont and Rhode Island to visit family and Emilee got to meet a wide range of extended family!  We ended up having a mini family reunion at my grandmother's house in vermont!  My uncle Tom showed up with his girl friend and her two foster kids, my aunt Dawn and her husband showed up, my cousin T.C. and his wife and two boys showed up, my cousin Stephanie and her little daughter showed up, and then there was my mom, sister, and grandparents! Phew!  It was certainly a housefull!  All in all there were 6 young children there, including Emilee.  It probably had to with me being so tired at the end of the day, but as I sat there in the living room watching the chaos, I had the thought that I really don't like kids that much! LOL.  Don't get me wrong, I love Emilee dearly and on an individual or limited basis and I liked all the kids well enough, but put all of them together in one room, man what a headache!  I am certainly not one of those people to have childcare in my home!  I know a lot of people have the assumption that if I have kids I'm a good choice for a babysitter, but honestly, just because I have a daughter and I love her, does not mean I have any desire to watch other children. Anyway, here is a generational photo we got while there. :)

After Vermont we headed to Rhode Island to visit my sister and her in-laws and meet her little boy.  We almost didn't because her little boy was sick the first part of the week, but he was on the mend by thursday we we kept our origional plans to go visit them.  It was a lot of fun to finally see her again!  It's been nearly 4 years!  So strange to think about really...it doesn't FEEL like it's been that long, which just makes the number even more surprising, but, with her and her husband moving to MA and My husband and I moving to CO, we just kept missing each other. Here is a pic of my mother holding my little nephew!  He is almost 2 months old in this picture and already the same size as Emilee!  He's a big ol boy!  Cute as a button though and I'm really glad Emilee will have cousins close in age to her. :)



Overall, Emilee was a great little traveler.  She slept well at the hotel and my grandmother's house and generally only needed one nap time to get familiar with a new place.  She didn't fuss to much in the car and was really well behaved when visiting people. She also became more aquainted with her pacifier, lol, but she was still as happy as ever so it was all good. :)

Anyway, the monday after getting home, Emilee had a really runny nose, red eyes, and a slight cough, so I took her to the walk-in care just because I wanted to know what I could do for her.  They told me she had a cold, and that there was nothing I could do.  A lot of help that was!  But, I did learn that she had lost weight since her last appointment. I had been wondering for a while if my milk supply was decreasing because she was only eating about 5 mins on each side and then refusing it and fussing, but she was still pooping and peeing and was happy so I had just assumed she was eating faster.  Once I found out she had actually lost weight, I decided to try and boost my supply with a Fenugreek supplement and pumping to see if that would help, and I added another feeding into her daily schedule.  I've only been doing it for a couple days but she already is eating more and is not just happy, she's giggly!  Ooo my poor baby, I feel so awful that she was getting less than she should have, but, that's always been one of my annoyances with breastfeeding, you really have no way of knowing how much they are eating at a time!  If she has not gained back most or all of the weight by her next appointment (2 weeks), then I might consider supplementing with formula, but that's a last resort at this point.  I also learned from other friends about putting a drop or two of essential oil in her vaporizer to help with congestion, which has really helped I think. :)  She still has a bit of a cough, but only coughs occasionally and is much more alert and rested durring her wake times. :) I am dealing with a tickly throat and runny nose now, but hopefully I can keep a full blown cold at bay with vitamin C and lemon water. :)

At the end of this past week my brother-in-law and his wife brought their little boy over to visit and we got some super cute pictures with them together! It's been a busy two weeks but I love the memories we are making! That's what's really important in life; family, friends, and memories. :) Here's Emilee with her other little cousin!